Sidewalk Gripes

Before I even begin on this posting, let me clarify my stance on those living with disabilities. I sympathise with the struggles those living with disabilities face on a daily basis and fully support equal opportunity and access. It's my hope that our government implements as many programs as needed to ensure we maintain the same standard of living for all, regardless of our physical abilities.

A few days ago, with my iPod playing some very happy tunes by KT Tunstall, I was walking towards the King streetcar when I had a near death experience. As I was listening to music and walking on the sidewalk, I didn't anticipate danger, but what transpired was a close call. Surprisingly, it wasn't the streetcar or a random car driving by that nearly ended my life, but instead a man driving an electric wheelchair who careened by at a speed fit for the Molson Indy. He just about took my left arm off, and when he manoeuvred in front of me turned around and shouted "watch where you're going lady"!!!

I generally don't enjoy being called lady or most recently "mam" – but that's a whole different article.

The experience with the surly man on Spencer Street brought me back to another close call I had with an electric wheelchair in college. I was entering a hallway when my toes were just centimetres from being amputated by a passing electric wheelchair. Thankfully, in that case I wasn't yelled at.

I suppose that since we're all sharing the sidewalk it would be most appropriate to do just that – share. The experience of having electric wheelchairs wiz by at the speed of light has been documented by several friends...so I know it's not just me. I'm all for the electric wheelchairs if you need it to get you from point A to B, but my gripe is with the lack of safety associated with a tool designed to improve access. Just as with bicycles, a bell or horn should be deemed necessary.

Also, on a side note – has anyone ever seen people in the electric wheelchairs riding in car lanes? Just proves my point though about the speed capabilities of the newer model electric wheelchairs.

Another thing that drives me bananas is when a couple or family take up the entire width of the sidewalk whilst casually strolling. I think it's wonderful that people are spending time together outdoors – hugging, loving, kissing, and walking are all highly appreciated, however, it is not appreciated when the participants are hogging the sidewalk. I think there should be a 2 person maximum for each direction. Also, slow walkers can be very frustrating for those in a rush. If you're a slow walker, that's wonderful! Slow walk to your desire, but it would be fantastic if you could be aware of people on your tail and perhaps move to the side.

Lastly, strollers. I'm actually envious of mum's I see meandering around town with these apparatuses. The amount of storage the modern day stroller is simply astounding. Multiple cup holders, bag compartments, mesh baskets, reversible seats – I'm jealous!! When I take my niece Emma for a walk, the pure power and strength contained her stroller is empowering for both of us and certainly makes for a lovely stroll. Similarly with the slower walkers, it would be nice for people to be aware of when they're causing congestion on the sidewalk and perhaps pull over to let people pass.

Am I missing any other sidewalk woes you'd like to discuss? Let me know!

 

Male Wardrobe Malfunctions

How nice must it to be a man in the morning?

I start thinking about what to wear sometime between making coffee and finishing my first Sudoku puzzle. Before heading to the shower, I have a primary and secondary outfit picked out. To simplify my life, I tend to shy away from loud colours and stick to a uniform of black and white clothing because it's easier to match and therefore requires less planning.

Besides washing my hair, which really does bore me, getting dressed in the morning is one of my least favourite things to do. Men sure do seem to have it easy. They don't have to choose between skirts, dresses, Bermuda shorts, leggings, etc. It's simply pants and a shirt. Seems pretty simple to me.

So how then do men seem to manage so many odd clothing choices? Here are a few I've noticed (in no particular order).

1. Starts with an "S" and ends with an "ew". Actually, I'm referring to Speedos. I can't understand why, given the option of wearing something not so constricting, men wear these abhorrent outfits.
   

   
    

2. Little Backpacks. They look ridiculous. Get a full sized pack for the love of God. This looks especially silly when wearing a suit with the backpack.
   

   
    

3. Socks with sandals. Often seen on women, but men are definitely the primary offender.
   

   
    

4. Skinny Jeans. This one is best left to the ladies.
   

   
    

If I'm missing anything, ladies, feel free to let me know.

Congealed Mass of Travelers

It's been a while since my last posting and in that time a lot has happened. I turned 30, Michael Jackson has died, and the garbage strike in Toronto is now in its 4^th week. But, the show must go on and I feel compelled to write about the universal irritants of international travel.

A few weeks ago, I prepared to board an Air Canada flight from Toronto to Casablanca. Having arrived at the airport a tad early I was relaxed and was dreamily perusing the bookstore with a Timmy Ho's in hand. Snapped out of my daze by an announcement, I noticed a congregation of people standing around a departure gate – similar to a congealed mass of overcooked perogies. In no particular order, travelers stood impatiently trying to inch forward to the gate...which was not open yet. Reminiscent of CBC documentaries showcasing the line-ups during a little known African country's first democratic vote, passengers looked insistent on moving forward which such determination in their eyes that I figured it was time for me to join the line.

Upon joining the line-up, I was bumped, pushed, shoved, and nudged in all direction. After navigating this lesser known version of the "mosh pit" there was the next hurdle of getting to my window seat in one piece. Bouncing down the aisle like a ping pong ball I felt a surge of relief when I saw my row. A mother and daughter duo sat in the other two seats occupying the row.

They looked at me. I looked at them.

Polite smile from the mother. Roll of the eyes from the daughter. "Sorry, could I...that's my seat".

A production fit for a Broadway musical is what then transpired. It was if I had asked a homeless person to move out of tent city with all of their million belongings. No word of a lie, it took me 5 minutes to get my arse remotely near the seat.

Ah....awesome. Finally seated, I was excited for take-off so that I could dive into my book or watch some Curb Your Enthusiasm. The daughter (for the sake of argument, let's call her "Dungeon Child") turned on her iPod which I could hear over the roaring jet engines. A series of punk music played irritatingly out of her earphones but even worse was her boney elbow which was hogging the entire arm rest.

Dungeon Child had her legs splayed open so that they were intruding on my foot space, elbow in my ribs, her music pounding in my right ear – and then she started to cough Swine Flu style. Totally gross and time to take action.

I tried to politely position my elbow on the arm rest but Dungeon Child was having none of it. There wasn't a 50-50 arm rest split happening and I couldn't stake out even a tiny patch. And so I waited, with a plan of action, for Dungeon Child to fall asleep. Once her head started to haphazardly swaying from side to side I knew she was asleep and probably dreaming of a proper snuggle with Marilyn Manson. I knocked her arm right off the arm rest – POW! Her neck snapped in to an upright position, eyes blinked open, and a stunned look crossed her face. Of course, I pretended nothing unusual was going on and focused intently on my TV screen. Problem solved.

The arm rest issue doesn't seem to be exclusive to air travel. Here are a few more places I've noticed a struggle to maintain a civilized 50-50 arm rest split.

1. TTC
   
2. Movie theatre
   
3. Doctor's office
   

Can you think of any others?

I would also like to know what your ARE (arm rest equality) strategies are.