Have you ever gone to pick a stray hair off of a friends sweater? I once did this to my co-worker Carly, however, the hair was actually still attached to her head. Carly looked like she was ready to punch me and I didn't quite know why. Until it happened to me at which point I became enlightened. Suggestion: slightly tug at the hair to determine its level of commitment to the scalp. If this hair is really a stray, it will come loose with a slight tug.
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Last night I joined my dodgeball team at Central Commerce High School, located in a leafy green and tranquil area of Little Italy. After a fun game of winding, catapulting, dodging, jumping, ricocheting, and all out dodgeball mayhem I was leaving the gym with my friend Esther when I felt a massive blow to my head. A team warming up to play after us and mistakenly had thrown the ball at my head at which point the culprit rushed over and apologised profusely.
The poor guy looked mortified and I could tell that he felt badly. Having just played a game of dodgeball where I had been hit about 100 times this incident shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did. A lot. I wanted to head lock him WWF style and plough him straight into the gym wall.
Very irrational and of course I gave him a forced “Bean Smile” (imagine you’ve just eaten a burrito and need to fake a smile – there are no teeth being shown and the smile is awkward and uneven).
I’ve noticed that this irrational response is often evoked when a stranger unknowingly encroaches on my physical space without my knowing.
Other examples that send me into a mental rage:
1.) When someone steps on the back of my sandal as I’m walking. This happened to me once in San Diego and my shoe actually broke. If looks could kill the offender would have died instantaneously.
2.) Person A is walking towards Person B. Person A and B, who are walking at a fair pace and swinging their arms accordingly, knock hands/arms upon passing each other. Pisses me off.
3.) The bus comes to a sudden stop and a lovely lady next to you steps on one of your feet as she tries to steady herself. Once again, the “Bean Smile” is implemented as you assure her “it’s fine”. But it’s not, because you are screaming internally.
4.) This one isn’t physical but induces the same reaction. While chatting happily with a friend at a bar you are snapped out of your conversation by the sensation of sticky, wet, drink dripping of your arm/leg/foot. The Guilty Party gives you the “Bean Smile” while haphazardly looking for a napkin to help you dry off. Two words: F. Off.
Now, I’ll send it back to the readers. Do you have anything you`d like to add to the list of mental rage inducing events?
I’m hoping that all of you have a Mental-Rage free day with zero encounters of random physical invasions on your personal space!
2 comments:
Your post was very timely! On my walk today I was getting angry at the people who walk in big groups on King St. and hog the entire sidewalk so that you are expected to walk in the road or be roughly jostled. Good to know I'm not the only hothead out there.
Mate, a J-lady stiletto ram-jamming onto your flip-flopped (a.k.a. basically naked) foot as the JR train brakes and dummy bimbo stumbles around, not thinking to grab a rail for support, while you double over in pain and you grit your teeth to hide your swearing ... these are a few of my favourite things....
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